Oh god.. So just now.. I was doing revisions on my college application essay with my friend who was making sure everything sounded right with the grammar and all of that... I thought: Hey.. its all doing good.. I like this.. I then went to the website and found this:

"The freshman application deadline is November 1. Please submit the completed online application no later than 12:00 am (midnight) Eastern Standard Time to be considered on-time."

I thought: OH SHIT!! And rushed to submit my essay. I pressed the send button to realize I had to pay for it. I woke my mom up and she angrily gave me the card.. I rushed to pay for it and once I finished it was 12:00am I was mortified the whole time and literally had a panic attack while I was doing this.

I then realized I had one more day.... one more day to do those revisions.. one more day to make everything look perfect.. I'm so pissed. You cant imagine how I feel right now.. I'm like.. in despair. My friend said I'm fine but I have other thoughts. (Yeah I'm going emo over this)
I just really hate myself right now. I wanted everything to be perfect. I want to get into that college so badly I'm willing to sell my soul. M.Y. S.O.U.L.

Going to this stupid college here where I live for two years will make a huge dent in my plans for the future. They don't have the classes I want.

I'm so worried right now. I feel like crying. But that's not going to do anything.
Hope is all I can do right now..


(Rant=finished)